Scientific facts I learned this morning (and blog candy!)
UPDATE!!: Comments for the blog candy are now closed…stay tuned for the announcement of the winner!
What I learned this morning:
- When you are cleaning up your stamping desk and moving things around, any containers of brads you left on the desk the last time you stamped should probably be moved away from the edge of the desk.
- A nearly full container of brads, even when closed, does not stay that way when it falls off the desk.
- A nearly full container of brads, when it falls off the desk from a height of about 34 inches, scatters brads in a circular direction.
- A nearly full container of brads, when it falls off the desk from a height of about 34 inches, makes a circular scatter pattern that is about 4 feet in diameter.
- A nearly full container of brads, when it falls off the desk from a height of about 34 inches, makes a sound that freezes your soul and fills you with dread.
- Chocolate helps with the dread.
- There isn’t enough chocolate in my house and what was there is now gone.
- It’s very dark under my desk.
- I have the world’s ugliest tile floor.
- The way I deal with having the world’s ugliest tile floor is not to look at it.
- Looking at the world’s ugliest tile floor give me a frustrated, horrified feeling, knowing that it will be years before we can afford to replace the whole thing.
- You have to look at the world’s ugliest tile floor when you have to sit on it to look for brads that fell off the desk from a height of about 34 inches.
- It helps to have chocolate to deal with the frustrated, horrified feeling you get from looking at the world’s ugliest tile floor, but it only helps if you have some.
- The world’s ugliest tile floor has a pattern that conceals brads very effectively, aided by the darkness mentioned before.
- When you finally decide to lower yourself to the world’s ugliest tile floor to pick up the brads, grateful for the fact that at least you had turned your little heater on and it won’t be a traumatic tush-freezing incident, according to the laws of probability the phone will ring.
- According to the laws of probability, when you haul your tush off the world’s ugliest tile floor to answer the phone, you will realize by looking at the caller ID that it is a telemarketer.
- You *can* resist answering the phone and giving the telemarketing person a piece of your mind, though it isn’t easy.
- Chocolate will help you resist, if you have some.
- Getting back down on the world’s ugliest tile floor the second time to pick up brads is just as hard as it was the first time.
- If you are fat enough, you can sit on lots of brads and not even feel them under you.
- If you eat enough chocolate, you will have no problem with being fat enough.
- When you sit on brads, they get squashed.
- Squashed brads are hard to straighten back out, though it can be done. They will never look the same, though.
- Brads are very good at sticking into the soles of Birkenstock clogs.
- When you step on brads, you squash them as well as feeling a sickening grating sensation when the brad scrapes across the world’s ugliest tile floor on your shoe.
- Chocolate helps with the sickening grating sensation, but only if you have some.
- When you are on the world’s ugliest tile floor picking up brads, you find all kinds of things that rolled under the desk and were never seen again until now.
- Some of the things you find under the desk are worth finding, some are not.
- None of them are chocolate.
- You should never wear dark colored pants when you sit on the world’s ugliest tile floor to pick up brads, particularly if you haven’t swept the world’s ugliest tile floor recently.
- As you pick up brads off the world’s ugliest tile floor you will inadvertently pick up lots of fuzz so that your brad container will now contain brads AND fuzz.
- You will not find all the brads when you are down on the world’s ugliest tile floor, but you will find one or two every now and then for the next few days, usually when you step on one (see 25).
- There is no chocolate in my house to deal with that.
That’s what I’ve learned so far today and that’s why I have no card to show you.
So to console you I have this blog candy:
This is the set "Flourished Words" available from Flourishes LLC. I have an extra because of my last embarrassing incident of losing my set in the computer cabinet. So it’s only right and fitting that my latest embarrassing incident should be marked by giving this away!
To win my blog candy, post a comment tell me about something embarrassing that happened to you while stamping by 12M EST on Sunday evening (the 16th), when I will pick a random post using random.org. I promise I won’t laugh…much.